


I'm Home | Carl Grimes

by GhistWrite



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Reader Insert, Romance, SPOILER ALERT FOR LATEST EPISODE, Spoilers, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-13 20:12:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12991647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhistWrite/pseuds/GhistWrite
Summary: He used to be afraid of dying until he met you.SPOILERS.





	I'm Home | Carl Grimes

_"She was like the sun, She knew her place in the world. She would shine again regardless of all the storms and changeable weather. She wouldn't adjust her purpose for things that pass." —Nikki Rowe_

When people get bit they go through phases in such little time both physically and mentally. Carl had always noticed that. What made them stick out was that with every one he's ever lost to such a dreadful thing, they all went through the phases in their own special way. He even saw it pass through his mother's eyes right up until the end.

She was his everything, then. He knew her as a child knows his mother and cherished her as she should be cherished. He looked for stability and had it with her because no matter what he did or bad things got, she loved him all the same and was there to catch him. So when she was stolen away, it was much like a bullet to the stomach all over again—only so much worse.

With her the phases has been smooth like a flowing river and forced because there was no time left to ever truly let it sink in. There was fear and then realization of what she had to do. After that came the begging—not for help but for forgiveness because she knew she'd have to go. It was love and complete adoration that was her last step before a painful leave, but with a smile on her face and leave in her eyes.

He never was able to heal after her.

With others most seemed panicked—panicked to say one last word or to do one last thing. Some just raged because they didn't want to go—didn't want to embrace death but had no choice but to. Then there were those who went softly, like his mother, who understood what was to come and kept their head even if all about were losing theirs.

The truly painful ones were the abrupt and confused ones, like Glenn. He wasn't able to really understand but even through all of it he kept Maggie as his first though and held her as the truth that they would see each other again.

You reminded him of Glenn, so much that it left his chest aching like he'd cried out hours of grief in only seconds because the realization was so quick.

You were brave like all the others he knew and completely stupid in the best way, just like him if not worse. You made anywhere feel like home which was such a difficult thing to do for him at least. Your heart gave you answers before your head and there was no hesitation to be seen unless it dealt with someone you had to think twice about—like him. You hesitated that day, not because you were scared, but because you knew seeing him would make so much worse and you didn't want that for him—to hurt him.

That's what you wrote at least. He knows it must've been horrifying and to be on your own too when it happened. He wishes he'd gone out with you that day, chased after you like you did the first day he went passed Alexandria's walls with a target on his back. He wishes he'd done something more for you before it happened. He wishes you'd told him before going home that night, only to wake the entire neighborhood with a gunshot that left him chilled to the bone.

What he loved about you was that you weren't afraid to love. You weren't afraid to care even if it all would leave an unbarring scar on your heart when it all went wrong. He knew you regretted that kiss you left on his lips because it hurt him all the more, and he knew you tried to scratch out those three words that only left his heart suffering after the last blow. But he also knew you wanted one last chance to tell him how much you cared for him., and he knew that you would've thrown away that piece of the letter of it weren't for that fact that you wanted him to see if only to make sure he knew.

And he knew—he knew you loved him. Not because of those beautiful, heart-wrenching words on a paper or a kiss that left his head spinning. He knew because of your smile and your good deeds because you loved everyone.

And by God if everyone didn't love so much more—if he didn't love you so much more.

He liked to believe it was fate meeting you. That you fell into his life like angel out of the sky because you held more care over pieces of shit like him than a God over your head. He liked to believe you spent your last day with him because there was nowhere you'd rather be then by his side, joking around outside the walls like the stupid, dangerous teenagers you were. He liked to believe that even now you were smiling, both in pain and joy.

He could almost here your last words on that page as he laid there, family members gathered around before his last breath. He could feel the heat of your hand on his neck and the pressure of your lips against his temple—that one last kiss before you lefty him standing on his doorstep, heart sailing towards the stars like everyone's did when they felt truly loved.

"Just because you won't me anymore doesn't mean I'm not there," you whisper to him and he knows. "And hopefully a long time from now, when you're old with great graying hair—because the Grimes are known for that shit—" he chuckles, the amusement painful but more rewarding than anything. "—I'll be there to see you when you close your eyes and wake up young and doe-eyed again. I̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶.̶ ̶. Take care of everyone for me, sheriff's boy."

He's so sorry that he hasn't lived much longer after you, he is. He wanted to get there, to that someday because you wanted him to. Life just doesn't work out the way you want it and you knew that, accepted it, and went on your merry way. Your were a stubborn one and he loved it like he loved a sunny day that still rained.

At least he was dying with the people he loved around him, holding his hand and keeping him company. You didn't have that and he so wishes you did. It hurts, death clouding around the room and leaving his father and everyone else utterly wrecked. But he'd rather be here with them then without them because no matter how much a brave front he puts up he's still scared. Scared to leave, not to die.

He used to be afraid dying until he met you. Now he accepts it with a smile on his lips and tears in his eyes as he says his last words to those he loves.

Michonne is trying to keep it all in and his father is sobbing quietly. Judith is there too, confused and sitting by his side. The others are grieving, too.

And when he takes them all in one last time, he pictures them smiling to the best of his ability. Then with a relinquishing breath he closes his eyes and relaxes into the feeling of drifting away. It almost feels like flying and he always wanted to fly since he was little.

It's nice when he wakes up. Everything is bright and aglow with life and he can feel something next to him. When he turns his head he finds you resting against his side, head on his shoulder as you stare up at him with this eyes he remembers so perfectly.

"I'm home," he whispers and you smile, laughing as you jump onto him. He takes you into his arms and rolls over the grass, pinning you under him as he chuckles, burying his nose into your hair and greedily seeping up your warmth. When he pulls away he kisses you, molding his lips against yours and you melt against him, cupping his face and running your hands through his hair, knocking his hate clean off. It leaves him laughing against you again and you move to get up, pulling him along with you.

When's he's at his feet his eyes find those at the other end of the meadow, waving at him. He sees Glenn with his arms crossed and a smile that screams pride. Beth and Hershel are next to him, hugging one another as the old man waves and his daughter beams. He sees Abraham nodding at him as he leans against a tree. He sees Merle and Tyrese and Sasha and T-Dog. He sees Carol's daughter and she holding hands with her.

She's holding hands with his mother. She's crying happy tears and he is too, he can hear her even from a distant, saying how proud she is and much she missed him.

And behind her, he sees the shadow of Shane, watching him with a small grin of joy as well. Everyone was there and they are all happy to see him.

He looks at you when his hat is placed back on his head and you smile at him again, grabbing his hand tightly.

"Welcome home, sheriff's boy."

 


End file.
